Tuesday, 30 September 2025

'Was I About to Fire on Our Soldiers or on the Terrorists?': Israeli Pilots Admit October 7 Failures in New Book

IDF soldiers anonymously share the events of October 7 from their perspective in two new books. Plus, a Judy Chicago exhibition opens in Tel Aviv – despite a letter from 50 Israeli creatives that called on the artist to boycott Israel
Avshalom Halutz

It is now nearly impossible to count the number of books that have been published in Hebrew in the two years since Israelis' worst collective trauma. Every month new titles join the already vast genre of books about October 7, most of which offer similar narratives of victory and bravery on the day Hamas overran Israel's south.
But in the run-up to the second anniversary of October 7, a different approach is emerging: One that still highlights Israeli heroism but allows for a more contemplative perspective.
Two new books coming out in October from Yediot Books present anonymous testimonies of IDF fighters who struggled to defend the country. One of them is "The Tanks Are Here: The 188th Armored Brigade on October 7" by Ronen Wodlinguer, about the northern unit whose members feel they have not received enough public recognition, not in 2023 nor 50 years earlier during the Yom Kippur War. The book's cover is a photo of the tank of Salman Habaka, a Druze Israeli who saved lives on October 7 and was later killed in action in the Gaza war.
It opens with a disheartening paragraph: "While working on the book, I called one of the brigade's officers to interview him. He asked to forgo it. 'I'm afraid it will turn out to be a book of victory,' he told me. 'And on October 7, there was no victory.'"

Fear and euphoria

The other, more unusual release is "War Machine: The Face Behind the Helmet – Attack Helicopter Pilots Tell Their Stories" by Merav Halperin. The book is compelling in the way it conveys the Israeli pilots' shock and grief of that day, as well as the impossible situations many of them faced as part of an army that failed to protect its own citizens. October 7 is often remembered as a day when terrorists infiltrated kibbutzim, murdered and kidnapped civilians, but it also involved hours-long battles with Hamas using rockets and RPGs that often left Israeli forces confused and at times defeated.

Reading it, one cannot help but recognize the bravery, selflessness and emotional toll borne by those who fought to stop the attack. But at the same time, the book grapples with two subjects that have become taboo: one is mentioned repeatedly, although without much detail or data; the other is entirely absent.

Almost every testimony repeats the pilots' shock at having to fire inside Israel, something that was strictly forbidden until October 7. Many also stress that they often could not be sure who they were targeting. The book does not reveal how many Israeli civilians died as a result of friendly fire, but it does "dare" to acknowledge that the chaos of that day led the Israeli army to kill its own people.
One example: "... I realized that in the chaos I no longer knew what I was seeing. I couldn't tell whether the vehicles I spotted were carrying terrorists or civilians. I didn't know how many had crossed the border, or whether the figures I saw in the fields and at the junctions were terrorists or our own soldiers. Every target I marked was shadowed by doubt, and each time I squeezed the trigger I wondered whether I was about to fire on our soldiers or on the terrorists."
The cover of "War Machine: The Face Behind the Helmet – Attack Helicopter Pilots Tell their Stories."
The cover of "War Machine: The Face Behind the Helmet – Attack Helicopter Pilots Tell their Stories."
The cover of "War Machine: The Face Behind the Helmet – Attack Helicopter Pilots Tell their Stories."Credit: Oren Cohen/Yediot
The title of the book, "War Machine," contrasts with what it actually offers. The pilots behind the machines, even under pseudonyms, are humanized. We hear about their tears, their thoughts about their families, their fear and frustration. But what is never mentioned is the other side of their actions, their role in the mass killing of Palestinian civilians – who are never offered the same humanization.
The word "civilians" appears 28 times, but it refers only to Israelis. The word "children" appears often, but always in the context of the pilots' own families.
Not once do the pilots confront the fact that they have been involved in killing Palestinian families. One pilot participated in what the IDF called Operation Arnon, in which four Israeli hostages were rescued from locations in Nuseirat refugee camp. The extraordinary courage required to save those lives cannot be denied. The pilot recalls the immense euphoria he felt upon returning to his base. What he does not mention is that the Israeli army killed at least 276 people and wounded more than 698 Palestinians during that operation.
It might take a few more years before we see Israeli books from combat soldiers who dare to deal with our own war crimes.
"Each time I squeezed the trigger I wondered whether I was about to fire on our soldiers or on the terrorists," writes one pilot in "War Machine."
"Each time I squeezed the trigger I wondered whether I was about to fire on our soldiers or on the terrorists," writes one pilot in "War Machine."
"Each time I squeezed the trigger I wondered whether I was about to fire on our soldiers or on the terrorists," writes one pilot in "War Machine." Credit: Amir Cohen/Reuters

Israeli artists to Judy Chicago: don't exhibit here

Despite the ongoing war and numerous cultural boycotts, a big international name in the art world has decided to present her works at two venues in Tel Aviv. "What If Women Ruled the World?" is the first exhibition in Israel by renowned Jewish American artist Judy Chicago, in collaboration with the Nassima Landau Art Foundation and the Tel Aviv Museum of Art.
The exhibition includes a solo exhibition at the foundation's gallery in central Tel Aviv, showcasing six decades of Chicago's groundbreaking works. Last week, the Tel Aviv Museum of Art unveiled a new participatory quilt by Chicago – developed in collaboration with the activist-artist and Pussy Riot founding member Nadya Tolokonnikova.

The existing project of the feminist creators was met with Israeli pushback. Earlier this month, as reported by the Israeli website Erev Rav, more than 50 Israeli artists and cultural figures signed a petition calling on Chicago and Tolokonnikova to withdraw their participation.

"We strongly believe that as Israel annihilates not only Gaza's population and its ability to sustain life, but also its history, culture, and heritage, cooperation with an Israeli establishment by international artists projects a false sense of normalcy – effectively turning a blind eye to the genocide Israel has been perpetrating in Gaza for almost two years," the petition reads.
"We question the nature of such an exhibition that claims to speak the language of feminism while ignoring the fact that Israel violates women's rights every day. According to UN Women's analysis from 19 May 2025, more than 28,000 women and girls have been killed in Gaza since October 2023 (while the death toll is most likely much higher), among them artists Heba ZagoutHeba Abu Nada, Amna Al-Salmi and Dina Khaled Zaurub, just to name a few."
Tolokonnikova told the online art magazine Hyperallergic that she agrees with the petition but does not have "any control over ongoing logistics or where it is shown." In a statement sent to Haaretz, the Tel Aviv Museum of Art said: "The Tel Aviv Museum of Art hopes the quilt becomes a platform for fostering a discussion of a different tomorrow: a future where leadership is defined by empathy, collaboration and responsibility."
Tania Coen-Uzzielli, the museum's director, added: "We too are horrified by the devastation and pain in Gaza and we use our platform to call for the end of the war and shine a light on its toll. However, we at the Tel Aviv Museum of Art reject the notion that cancelling exhibitions serves as a meaningful response to the destruction around us. This cultural boycott will not stop the war, nor will it alleviate the profound suffering in Gaza. What it will do is only silence artists, annihilate critique, and play into the hands of those who seek to control culture.
"Our Museum is not removed from this crisis; it stands at its very heart. This is also the reason we chose to present a participatory project that invites the public to raise its voice, encourage thought and action. To cancel this project now would not be an act of solidarity, but of surrender. It would only strengthen the very structures of power, violence and silencing. The Tel Aviv Museum of Art is led by women and has consistently championed the work of women artists across generations, cultures, and identities, including Palestinian artists. We believe that art's role is to open spaces for conversation, for mourning, for empathy, and for critique. At a time when so many voices are being muted, the project offers precisely what is most needed: the possibility of speaking, listening and imagining another reality together."
https://archive.md/2025.09.29-085039/https://www.haaretz.com/life/2025-09-29/ty-article-magazine/.premium/in-new-book-idf-soldiers-ask-was-i-about-to-fire-on-our-soldiers-or-on-the-terrorists/00000199-9056-d4f2-a3b9-d777f0a80000#selection-1507.0-1519.837

 

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