Relax: Putin Has America Under Control

Author: Phil Butler

Column: Society

Region: USA in the World

Pathetic. As I lift my eyes from reading a New York Post story about idiot Bernie Sanders, it’s the only word that comes to mind. In the make-believe world where sick American politics is run by an invisible moronic hand, Russians have become the fearsome foe again. And Bernie Sanders is a symbol and a symptom of a society gone wrong, wrong, wrong.

When I type the title of this story about the venerable Vermont senator, those of you who still remain cognizant under the pressure of mass hysteria will “spuke” your coffee all over your smartphones or PC screens. Are you ready? Is your phone out of the way?

“Sanders: Hillary ignored warnings about Russian trolls”

I’ll wait for you to catch your breath…………….. Oh come on, it’s crazy, but not that crazy. Yes, according to this story the man who forgave Hillary Clinton for cheating him out of the nomination for president, he’s now giving speeches about his team’s counter-trolling capabilities on the internet! Speaking before the 12 (maybe more) hapless constituents who actually listened to him on Vermont Public Radio, the clueless Sanders blamed Hillary for not doing more to stop those pesky Russian trolls reversing the American election process.

Let me stop right here for a moment. Can anyone reading this imagine Hillary Clinton and her zealots remaining calm and quiet over an onslaught of Putin agents rigging the election? Better still, can anyone imagine Bernie Sanders having the slightest idea what an internet troll is? Stick with me, this gets a lot better.

According to this story Sanders also mentioned to Politico his keen observations. But wait! To make matters worse (more idiotic) Sanders’ campaign manager for the 2016 election fiasco, Jeff Weaver said Sanders had no personal knowledge of a Russian Troll armada arrayed against American genius politicians. Next, here is what Sanders actually said happened:

“A guy who was on my staff … checked it out and he went to the Clinton campaign, and he said, ‘You know what? I think these guys are Russians.’”

I’ll let you catch your breath. Sorry, I forgot to warn you about “spuking” that coffee.

But it gets even better. Hearing of the hearsay of the rumor of mythical Putin trolls invading the rigged DNC convention process and the election booths – Hillary Clinton dives in and denies Sanders ever warned her of the impending doom! Yes, without even connecting the idiot dots, Clinton’s goof ball campaign people just deny the dumbness, thereby revealing their own cluelessness. But WAIT! WAIT FOR IT!

Next Bernie’s rocket scientist campaign manager tells Politico that he had not seen any evidence to support special counsel Robert Mueller’s charge in an indictment accusing 13 Russians of interfering in the election. The Rusky “saboteurs”, he said, did nothing to help Bernie. (Don’t worry, I’ll catch you up in the summary) Then, Bernie parroted this same nonsensical reality over the radio airwaves of cold, cold Vermont:

“They were supporting my campaign? No. They were attacking Hillary Clinton’s campaign and using my supporters against Hillary Clinton.”

By now you’ve come down from the giddy comedic heights this American comedic moment delivered. Your coffee gone and all over your freshly ironed slacks or skirt. Your breakfast poorly digested because of gulping and gasping for normal air. Now you’re reeling at the gnawing clarity of all this. America, and the world tied to it, is fucking doomed. Doomed, I say.

To summarize from my point of view. Imagine if you can, you are the certified number one Putin troll on Earth (me). Your certification has led you to reveal most of the top “so called” Kremlin Trolls. Hell, what if you readily admit liking and even admiring Vladimir Putin, and if you further admit using your internet skills to assist Donald Trump? And then you read about “The Agency” that supposedly sent bots and hundreds of Russian trolls gunning for Hillary and Bernie. Imagine you know all there is to know about the real “Putin supporters” – I bet you would be dumbfounded at just how stupid these Washington people are.

Pay close attention. The Russians put into play a Russian agency in St. Petersburg that would later be used to destroy American democracy. Furthermore, the mad social scientists deep underneath the Kremlin staffed this “troll farm” with street people who would immediately spill the beans to the mighty New York Times when called upon. In the meantime, Barack Obama’s successor libtard is groomed. The liberal order has had a liberal, lying womanizer in Bill Clinton, and they recreated conservatism with neocon psychopath Bush, then came the token black guy, and the circus could only be complete with a quasi-woman named Hillary. The devious and divisive Rusky trolls gnash their teeth… waiting… watching for three months on end …honing their Twitter skills…Then the New York Times’ Adrian Chen posts “The Agency” (the troll farm story used today to fuel a fanaticism) on June 2, 2015. Next billionaire Donald Trump declares his run for the presidency on June 16th, 2015. And the Kremlin flips the “troll switch” to ensure their man from golden showers in Moscow suites is T.H.E. man in the White House! Hundreds of highly trained social media gurus descend on Hillary and Bernie…. They’ve one purpose in mind. The utter ruin of democracy. Displacing the potential of the free world by making dead sure …. Dead sure lying nincompoops do not take office!

There’s only one problem with the story. Okay, there are lots of problems, but one I am absolutely certain of. The 13 people charged by this Robert Mueller fellow, not 400 low paid Russian streetwalkers at this alleged troll farm had little or nothing whatsoever to do with the American political system going down the toilet. First of all, you just read about one huge reason America is screwed – we vote for clowns like Bernie Sanders. But the main reason I know our system is fried is the fact NONE of this really happened. At least not in the way western media and the liberal world order want you to believe it did. I know this because I saw it from inside social media prowess, and inside independent media that is pro-Russian

 The whole concoction (almost) is smoke and mirrors. The Kremlin is not a well-oiled mechanized machine. Russian social media is organic, for the most part. And Russian media is a mirror of American corporate media, it’s full of inconsistencies and human error, personalities and so on, just like its counterpart. There is one difference though, there’s no Bernie covering his ass over something that never happened and that cannot be proven! Oh, and also…

In Russia the Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders types have already been sent to the gulag! Okay, not the gulag, but most of the Russian people do not even listen to such morons. And now you know why Putin is popular too. Go back to your coffee and your sweet roll. Putin has America under control.

Not really, just kidding.

Phil Butler, is a policy investigator and analyst, a political scientist and expert on Eastern Europe, he’s an author of the recent bestseller “Putin’s Praetorians” and other books. He writes exclusively for the online magazine “New Eastern Outlook.”

https://journal-neo.org/2018/02/26/relax-putin-has-america-under-control/